Love parenthood

Dec 12, 2013

I absolutely love being a parent to little Zoey right now. It is probably one of the funnest things I have done in my life.  A few months ago, I felt sad for parents. It was so hard at first.  You may have seen my sob stories from before.  I wondered why everyone kept having kids. Why would everyone keep willingly subjecting themselves to that? I wished that no one would ever have to go through the hardship I was going through.

 Dramatic? Maybe so, but I really had a though time adjusting. I like to tell myself that my baby really was harder to care for than some babies.  That's all over now though!

 I am so happy to see her perfect little smile all the time! She is sooo much happier and well behaved now. She is learning so much all the time.  Zoey is my little angel!

Now I wish that everyone had a chance to experience parenthood.  What we are going through right now is so worth everything I went through before.  Maybe I am just saying that because I am not going through the hard part now. Maybe I have forgotten what I really felt like a few months ago.  Now I am elated! And it's even winter.. who knew?  It's a lot like a felt when I fell in love with Tanner.  I love everything she does.  sometimes I get a little annoyed of her whining, but it's different than it was before.  Now, the annoyance is masked with a big coat of adoration. I can't explain it.  You just have to experience it for yourself.  It's amazing!

Zoey is standing and other development

December 12, 2013

Three times today, Zoey stood by herself for about 3 or 4 seconds. That is really good compared to the split seconds that she has been doing.  I think you can count this week as her first steps too.  She can really only take one, maybe two by herself, and it is mostly as she is falling, but we'll count it.  Maybe I'm wrong, but I would guess that is what they mean when they are talking about the first step.  Either way, she is going to be standing alone consistently pretty soon. and even walking.  She is really on the go.  Only 7 months old.  Go Zoey! Momma's so proud!

Just to update about the previous posts.. she is still sleeping in her crib, naps and nights.  She doesn't sleep well next to me anymore or while I am holding her.  she squirms a lot.  So, she really is there to stay. I'm not even thinking about turning back.  It is amazing that she can put herself back to sleep a lot of the times she wakes up.  The longest she has gone through the night without wanting to nurse is 6 hours and that is not often.  She usually wakes every 3-4 hours.  I am not in a hurry to spread the feedings out.  If they don't spread out on their own, then I we'll deal with it when it is unbarable, but for now, its fine.

The army crawl is still the way she does it.  She is definitely strong enough to crawl normal, but doesn't.

She now has 2 teeth. Right next to each other.  They are not all the way in yet, but you can see them pretty clearly.

She actually goes to people pretty easily now.  She does get nervous if I am too far away and she can see me. But she has been letting other people hold her and play with her, which is more than we could say about her last month.

We don’t go out without her anymore.

crib for good and first tooth

It has taken a couple of months and quite a few failed attempts to get here. For the last 3 days, Zoey has been sleeping exclusively in a crib! I have fretted, written, read, and even cried about this for a long time. I don't really know what happened. I changed tactics to just leave her in her crib and comfort her from there as opposed to picking her up to comfort her. I found that she became hard to calm down when I picked her up. It was almost like she couldn't relax because she was so worried that I would put her down again. There was never a good time to put her back down. Most of the time I would end up holding her on the end. But if I didn't give her the false hope that I would pick her up, she would calm down. She seems to like being on her belly the best. I just ssh or sing, pat, rub, or massage her back to calm her. It is amazing and so uncharacteristic that she could calm down and fall asleep in a crib like that. The longest it has taken for her to relax and fall asleep is about a half hour. I still can't believe that she is there now. She can now change position and wiggle and fall back asleep workout my interference. She used to nurse about every 2 hours in the night when we co slept. but last night she slept 5 hours straight without waking.

She was happier today than she usually is. She even let other people hold her workout freaking out. I can't help but wonder if she has been getting better sleep, therefore feels better.

I am so pleased! I feel like a new person. It's like I have this new found independence. I can have some time to myself. I can sleep alone!

It is also really nice because she is transitioning to 2 naps. She stayed awake for over 3 hours more than once today.

Today I rode all the way from home to kaysville in the front seat. Zoey sat in the backseat the while ride without a complaint. Another miracle!

Last piece of news: Zoey is cutting her first tooth. My little girl is growing up!

Army Crawl

As I'm sure I have said before, Zoey can sit up alone.  In fact, she has mastered the skill. And I'm sure you knew that she could roll from her belly to back, but I bet you didn't know about her new found abilities.  Yesterday she surprised us by turning over to her belly when she saw a toy sitting close by. No problem, just pop on over! The next thing we know, she starts scooting along to another toy. I have been trying to help her crawl for the last couple of weeks. She can sit there on all fours now easy, but hasn't quite figured out how to switch her weight and balance on one arm at a time. It's only a matter of time. I would guess a short amount of time. But this is different, she gets around like a mini soldier army crawler. I'm so impressed! Now I know what it's like to be a proud parent. I want to show her off to everyone around even though I know they're not particularly impressed. After all, don't all babies crawl? Either way, my eyes are opened to all the danger around. The floor used to be a safe place. But yesterday when I laid her on the rug in my bathroom for 1 minute, she bonked her head trying to roll too close to the toilet. I guess the baby proofing must begin.

First time away from Zoey

We left Zoey for the first time today now that she is fiber months old. We didn't leave her for long. Tanner's mom came to watch her while tanner and I went out to lunch for about an hour at one o'clock. I left a little bit of pumped milk just in case she got hungry, but she didn't really drink any, maybe a teeny bit. I think she did fine. Carolee said she did cry, but she was able to get her calmed down. I think it was good for us to have some tune apart. Our at least good that tanner and I could be alone and that she could spend some time and get comfortable with her grandma.

This seemed to work. We might make it a weekly thing.  the thing that really makes me nervous is being gone when she needs to sleep. I am afraid that no one else will be able to put her to sleep. Nights are the biggest weakness - I guess you could say- that I have. This is the hardest time to get het to sleep and it's usually not very easy to keep her asleep either. I always just let her suck nurse for the majority of the night to keep her asleep. No one else can do that.  It would be nice if I could figure out another way though so that tanner and I could go places at night sometimes. One step at a time right

Second year of marriage

This year has been very eventful. We have not done as much traveling as last year, mostly because we have been too busy with other big events. I can hardly remember the things we have done because it had been quite hectic. You can see pictures on our Flickr account.

We found out I was pregnant very soon after our 1st anniversary. Zoey Mae Cox was born May 6th, 2013.

I turned 21 and Tanner,  26.

Tanner graduated Utah State University with a bachelor's degree in mechanical engineering.

Tanner quite his job at Space Dynamics Laboratory as a mechanical engineering student to work with Cameron and Josh on some websites, namely Flight Stimulation Pilot Ship (FSPS) at the moment.

I quite my job at The Pointe Apartments and am working as a mom at home.

We moved from an apartment in Logan, Utah to a house in West Jordan, Utah (still renting).

We bought a family car. A red 2010 Honda CRV.

Actually all of this stuff happened within about 3 months. The rest of the 9 months have been dedicated and building up to these particular 3 months. A couple other things that happened are...
We took a trip to St George just before Christmas.

We bought a pass of all passes to go to seven peaks and other fun things for a whole year. So far we have used our and gone to seven peaks one time.

Tanner helped Josh Cox's family move from Spanish Fork to another, new house in Spanish Fork.

We went to Island Park, ID with the Cox family. Even enjoyed a teeny bit of wake boarding and water skiing.

Goodbye old life

September 2, 2013

Today I am grieving my old life again. After a breakfast party with the Cox family, tanner went off with his brother and dad to play golf. I am a little upset, not just because I feel abandoned without any notice, but mostly because I so badly miss the old days when I could go out and do things. I knew I would miss the spontaneity of our lives. I knew we wouldn't be able to decide to go camping on a whim any more. But I didn't expect my whole life: likes, dislikes, emotions, and activities would be washed away completely into Zoey's life. My life is gone now, just peeking vaguely through her existence. I am sad about that. I wish I was able to go out with my friends at least, since I dont have sisters. Now I can't even let Zoey out of my arms without feeling anxious. I don't know what to do with free arms anymore. I guess I just feel like I don't have any balance in my life between work and play. I am just tired of my emotions, of being cooped up, of being the only one that can really care for Zoey.